Many of us have come to realise that our beliefs and our habits have been formed subconsciously over time; they can come from past outcomes, events in our life, the education we have had, our environment and creative thinking (what we consciously decide to believe through repetition). If we are constantly picking up thoughts, behaviours and habits from our environment then, logically, it makes sense to make your environment as beneficial to you as you can. This article will look at the benefits of surrounding ourselves with great people and how we can do it.
How Beliefs Are Formed – Recap
A belief is a thought that you believe with 100% conviction. Put another way, a belief is a thought that has been validated over and over again. They are no right or wrong beliefs. Just beliefs that serve you and beliefs that do not. Now I do realise, the countries and the communities we live in have laws we have to uphold to so it would be beneficial for you if your beliefs align with the laws governed by your community.
Beliefs are the road map to how we live our life or our out another way, the lenses through how we see through the world. There is no reality, just what is for real for each individual. A great example would be if you went to a rock concert and you thought the band was awesome though one of your friends thought it was a but ordinary. Did the band play to different concerts? Of course not. Our perception of how we felt about the band came from our beliefs of what makes an awesome band, that’s it.
If you had a thought that you can survive in this lifetime by living off others, or more importantly, that you have subconsciously picked up the thought that you can live an easy life by living off others from the environment around you, then your brain will find you evidence that this is true and your thought will be validated. Through constant validation – repetition – this thought will become a belief. You can read full articles on how beliefs are formed here:
Attracting The Right People To You
I personally believe that there is a power out there which is greater than ourselves; some people call this power God some say it’s the power of the universe. I have yet to make up my mind which it is but I believe there is a universal energy out there. Hence, what you put out into the world through your thoughts, beliefs and actions, that energy is going to be matched by the universe and brought back to you.
Attracting the right people into your life means that you need to be the person that you want to attract. If you are after friends who are spiritual, love fitness and spend lots of time with friends and family then you need to be that person as well. Even if you are not that person at the moment you need to think that you are that person. Let me explain.
Referring back to how beliefs are formed, one of the ways that you can turn a thought into a belief is through creative thinking. Remember the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, it just relies on what is fed to us by our analytical mind, our conscious mind.
So, armed with this information we can think, write down and say affirmations about the person that we want to become and start ‘hanging out’ with people who match the criteria of who we are or who we want to be. Your intuition is a lovely thing. You will literally get a vibe with someone when you meet them with whether you are aligned with them and what their identity stands for.
Please keep in mind when we get our ‘vibe’ off who we want to spend time with we are doing this without judgement. I must admit this is something that I am still working on to try and not judge people that are not aligned with me.
“We are not choosing who we want to hang out with because we are better than others, we are choosing to hang around certain people because their awesomeness will rub off on to us.”
Be Clear On Who You Are And Who You Want To Be
How do we know who to associate ourselves with if we do not know who we are and what we stand for? Moreover, how will we attract the right people around us if we do not know who we are aiming to be? Life goes on, constantly. It does not stop. The results we have now is from the beliefs, actions and therefore habits that we had in the past.
So, the beliefs, actions and habits that we had for the previous five years have given us our results today. Hence, if we keep the same beliefs, actions and habits for the next five years we will have the same results in five years’ time. Though we may be a little longer in the tooth and have a touch greyer in certain areas.
There is a very easy trick to identifying the beliefs, actions and habits that have served us those that have not. Literally, take a pen and paper and split them into 2 columns. On the left hand-side write down the results in your life that you are not happy with and on the right write the results that you are happy with. For each reason that you give write down what beliefs and actions that you did to get that result. This exercise will only work if you are honest with yourself.
Give it a go. It’s a great exercise to do and if you do it over and over again I find that you will visually be able to do this in your head which means whenever you have some reflection time you can see if what you are doing now is making you happy now (because being aligned with your values in the present is very important) and whether it will bring you your desired outcome in the future as well.
Saying No To Toxicity – Having Clear Boundaries
The great Jim Rohn said,
“We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with,”
Or something along those lines. This information is very important for us who want to change and make a different path in our lives. It may take hard and difficult conversations about who you spend your time with and also how you are going to let people interact with you. Saying no to how you spend your time, if it’s not aligned with who you want to be,
Having clear boundaries of who you are, what you will accept and where you want to go will make it easier for those around you to choose whether they want to interact with you as well. The secret here, in my opinion, is to not come across as though you are better than the other person/people you are setting boundaries with, but just let them know that they have their values and beliefs and you have your values and beliefs and that you believe spending too much time together could compromise both of your individual values and beliefs.
“But what happens if someone in my family is a toxic person?” I hear you ask, “I can’t avoid them forever.” This is true as they will be people in your family or perhaps your work environment who don’t have the same beliefs and values as you.
In this case, it is very important that you are consciously aware of what is going on in the environment around you. Meaning, do not go into auto-pilot of how you would normally respond when you are around people that are not aligned with you. Remember we will ‘pick up’ from those around us subconsciously. Our aim is to arm ourselves with inner talk and affirmations of what we can say to ourselves when we are around ‘negative’ company. For example,
”They are entitled to their beliefs and I am entitled to mine. Subby (subconscious) I do not want this entering my thoughts and habits please.”
“I who I am in this lifetime. I do not need to change for somebody else. I will listen politely to what they have to say.”
“I’ve worked so hard to build up this identity, I’m not going to let anyone spoil it. I’ll take what they say with a grain of salt. I’ll meditate/journal and confirm my identity later on.”
To be honest it doesn’t really matte what you tell yourself you just need to be consciously aware that if you are not consciously aware the subconscious can pick up on those things.
“Being consciously aware of how you are thinking is tiring work, however, through repetition your conscious thinking will become your subconscious thinking”
Make The Time To Be With Those you Inspire You
Literally schedule and write down in your diary weekly times when you can be around people who are aligned with you. Not only is it soothing for the soul but it’s fun. If you are in a position where you are changing your identity, and hence your future projection, then schedule a time in your diary when you can research where people you want to align yourself hang out.
With the internet at our fingertips we can search for community and tribes on social media platforms and we can literally Google search for groups and communities around where you live. Experiment ad try out different groups if you need to. If it’s not for you then so be it. No harm done.
Once you do find the people that you click with, and you feel confident to do so, share your dreams and aspirations with them. If you are scared to do so then, ironically, you have probably not found the people who will support you on your journey to success.
Article In A Nutshell
Who we surround ourselves with is very important. We must consciously make an effort to surround ourselves with people who align with our values or people who have the values that we aspire to. If we are surrounded by people who we have conflicting values with, we must make a conscious effort to make sure that they are not ‘rubbing off’ on us.